The Comfort Zone

In pop psychology there is a saying to the effect that everything we desire in life exists outside of this thing called a comfort zone.   I’ve been observing this concept gain popularity for years while at the same time feeling on an intuitive level that there are flaws in this paradigm.  As I have sat quietly with this over time it’s become clearer to me how this line of thinking is off.  At the same time I have witnessed this become a sort of ‘zeitgeist’ culturally, used to try to help motivate people to try something new (which is inherently aligned with the greater good) but it has also become dogmatic.  No one thinks about it, and the energy of words – the semantics – are quite important.  It is essentially saying that we are no good where we are, and unless we do something that will be uncomfortable we will remain no good.  It’s part of the always doing, bigger better, more more more mentality.  It’s the opposite of the compassion and grace that have always been the catalyst for major change in my own life.

I hope you’ll enjoy what I am going to lay out in this blog post, and that it can give you the same good feeling it gave me upon my discovery of it.  It’s a shift in the paradigm, and it addresses what I feel the shortcomings are.  The reason I am even writing this is that I care greatly about personal growth and change that is accessible to all who desire it.  We all should feel that ‘being the change we wish to see in the world’ is accessible.

I laughed out loud when I first saw this graphic.  It plays perfectly into my new model for growth and change.  When I look at this picture I see a guy, frightened, clinging to and hiding behind his rock.  He is shaking and his eyes are bulging indicating stress and fear.  He is definitely not in a comfort zone.  So, what is it then that these 5 steps will help him break out of and into?  It would appear to me he might be  needing to break INTO a comfort zone.

It has become commonplace to discount comfort.  Inherently, there is a bias toward discomfort. Ideologically we crave ‘being comfortable’ but societally we judge that comfort is somehow a bad thing.   I would like to propose that comfort is a goal.  It’s a temporary resting place.  I would add that the pursuit of some form of bliss, some heartfelt desire,  is mostly a joyous process, and that the attainment of fulfillment, of being on our soul’s purpose, and of course dharma… these are all joyful things.

Now, what about this graphic?  To me it implies that we can either have ‘adventure’ or our ‘comfort zone’; not both.  I am a person who loves adventure.  I am comfortable with life being one big adventure with the constant pursuit of new adventures being added like chapters to a book we get to write.  To me, discomfort is a big motivator.  Living a boring, staid life, filled with routines I do not enjoy — that to me is the opposite of adventure and something I have to deal with daily – when my calendar comes out I have to happily build in adventures, or I will get swallowed up in routine.

This next graphic does contain some truth, but it also discounts the concept of the miraculous and spontaneous.  It ignores the idea of energy manifesting the most mystical and miraculous changes, awakenings, epiphanies and shifts.  These often come in a flash, usually only with the merest suggestion on an energetic level.  On the other hand it does speak to a more physical form of accomplishment – it’s unlikely you will learn a new language or run a 6 minute mile unless you actually take training for those things.  As an example as a runner for many years people would ask me ‘How do I run faster?’  (How do I prove my race time, my mile time, my pace, etc.) Of course the answer is ‘to run faster you must actually run faster’.  In other words, include some speedwork in your routine – change your anaerobic threshold.  You may have to do something you have never done.  Or, possibly, by having a regular routine, you may also evolve!


Intuitively, this physics model when adapted for personal growth and change makes so much more sense, to me.  The Bohr Model for the way electrons change orbitals, in oversimplified terms is how an electron (us) moves around within a space – it’s as far as we can zip around with what we have.  But, if energy is added, like let’s say for electrons, light… or for us humans ‘the mind’s wants’ … then increasingly we experience discomfort in the form of agitation, feeling contained, dissatisfied, and as if we are stuck.  So, in actuality, we really are in our DISCOMFORT ZONE.

In the world of energy, and in the world of physics, what happens next is that these electrons, are gaining in potential energy, and will finally achieve enough potential energy to ‘jump’ to the next level or orbital, and the process can begin again.  And so will we.  As our discomfort increases, and as our agitation and potential energy (or energy for change) increase, we are naturally preparing ourselves to ‘jump’ into a new area, into a new ‘comfort zone’… where we can take rest and enjoy our successful transition, reap some rewards, until, inevitably the mind’s wants begin eroding our comfort.

I am here to say – comfort is good.  Do not judge comfort for bad.  My sense of the origin of this judgement may come from some Calvinian dogma about work ethic, but it probably predates that by many centuries.  Discomfort is the thing:  it’s the mover, it’s the shaker.  This graphic to the left has it all completely backwards, in my opinion.  How is a dull life comfortable?  How is fulfillment outside your comfort zone?  Just getting by, playing it safe, and being full of regret feel pretty uncomfortable even just reading the words.  Excitement, Confidence, Happiness do not seem to me at all uncomfortable.

Finally, I would like to discuss this model briefly as well.

Here we see a three tiered model which actually identifies some of the characteristics of stages involved in change and growth.  To me it’s a pretty decent model, and aligns with what I have been saying.  It’s that when we experience the sensations described in the Red (Panic) Zone, we are in a state of discomfort, and are full of the potential energy for change.  From there we convert that potential energy into kinetic energy — we channel our discomfort into change… It’s also ripe ground for deep spiritual work.  It is here where our ability to manifest is strongest!  Finally when we have made some changes (begun an exercise program, stopped spending money on credit cards, start clean eating, get into a program of recovery, plan a trip…the list of common things goes on and on) we gradually find a comfort zone again.  Be very happy.  Enjoy these times, because this too, shall pass.  Given, again that ‘the minds wants can never be satisfied’, you can trust that new discomforts are pretty much right around the corner.  So, be good to yourself, be good to your friends, as you get increasingly uncomfortable, it’s time to look at that.  Is it just the mind’s insatiable wants, or is it time to deal with a legitimate discomfort.  If it’s time for a change, you’ll know, because the energy of it will propel you through the resistance.  It’s the way energy works.

And I say that with love.


Love Beyond Labels

Here’s what matters to me.IMG_4926_2

It’s so sweetly summed up in the words to the song ‘Kindness’, written and performed by the band Quiet Company:

Open up the cloud, let the flood come down and wash the earth.

Carry all the dust and the dirt and the ash of what we were.
And the wolves only come at night, but darlin’,
you and I, we were made for the light.
Open up the clouds, let the flood come down on me.

And I’ll say with all the confidence I have,
if your feet are getting tired I can take you on my back,
and we will carry one another as we march into the sun,
saying darlin’ I will never get enough of your kindness,
of your laughter,
of your love.

I can hear the trees as they bend in the breeze and they call our names.
Calling us forth, we were born from the earth in a golden age.
And I walked all across this land looking for a love I could understand,
looking for a price that a soul could pay
and a blessed plot of land where our bodies lay with a stone put above our heads,
it’ll mark our place.

Say that we will always be this way:
always moving, always shaking, always building, always breaking.
I’m gonna love you ‘til the grave:
I’ll make songs of all the things we said,
build a monument in the place we met,
teach the cynics what it means to be in love.

I don’t care if we are soul mates, twin flames, karmic twins… None. Of. That.  I don’t care if we are Lexus, Bentley, Maserati… Magnum, Le Tigre, or Blue Steel.

I care about the little things.  Coffee together in the morning if we can.  Yoga together any time we can.  Moments of connection and kindness.  Gratitude.  Let’s do the little things well.

I also care about the big things.  When we catch ourselves telling some old story, let’s write a new chapter where we do something wonderful and new.  Let’s be interdependent, supporting one another in their highest good, no matter what.  Let’s be open to helping others, and of being a catalyst for progress and change in our world.  Let’s do the big things well, too.

And let’s go on adventures, and create memorable experiences by living in our unique moments.

Let’s defy the norms, the statuses, and the false idols… let’s follow our collective

We get to write this story.

Let’s not be limited by trendy terms, whatever the fad name is for the best relationship ever.  We can and are as transcendent and as enduring as any.  Here’s to you, Susan, for being all of it.

But do I actually have anything to say that will make a difference?

sri-yantra“The truth can be used to harm, or to heal” ~ my erstwhile mentor, Philip Goodman during one of our many fine talks.

I am of the belief that every one of us, in fact all living beings have at the center of their being a soul.  It’s the part of us that has a direct line to the Infinite.  It is always about good, about light, and ultimately about love, compassion and grace.  I know this in the way so many of us know things that have no empirical truth; we know.  However, are we engaged in a regular and devoted practice that helps us connect to the Source within each of us?  Is it or is it not each of our truest, highest purpose to do this?  Or is it cool to just shoot from the hip, do and say and mimic what our parents, teachers, life trauma and experience, and authorities told us was right?
I’m really not here to judge anyone.  Ultimately, we have to meet each other exactly where we are, and go from there.  And I think we have the ability to do that.  We have a strange world political situation going on at present — and it seems to have had almost everyone digging in their heels and saying I am right, and you are wrong, and I am willing to fight about it.  I was in Miami last summer studying ashtanga yoga with Paramaguru Sharath Jois.  When he was asked about social media, he simply said ‘Everybody has comment.’  And so it is.

In my previous post, I suggested that ‘what if there was a virus that infected all of us, and it’s outward manifestation was to cause us to ‘think’ in a certain combative way?’… Wouldn’t we want to treat our illness first?  And wouldn’t we stop rampantly stating what was on our mind once we had our diagnosis?  And lastly, wouldn’t we follow a prescribed course of care to heal our self of the virus?

ahquote2In my experience, and using the metaphor / mythology of warriors and healers, we begin our early adult life as warriors.  We battle adversity.  We fight corruption.  We rail against the relative inequities in life.  We rage against the machine.  And we learn.  We gain in experience.  We become wiser.  We soften.  We learn compassion.  Grace enters.  We transition into healers.  We see how our experiences and accumulated awareness can help others.  By helping others we see first hand how lives are transformed.  We witness light entering into areas where once only darkness existed.  We are affirmed.

hands-mona-therese-pieceI was given an intuitive piece to the puzzle of my own soul’s purpose years ago.  I found myself in a position to speak publicly, becoming vulnerable in a very public way, telling the truth of me, and it was my hope to bring healing to others so that they could begin to lay down some of their own weaponry.  That piece was this;  if even one soul is reached, your purpose is served.  That soul may even be your own.  And like that all pressure to perform and be ‘somebody’ was lifted.  Simply by tuning into the inner healer, and sharing from that perspective, by being a hollow bone or conduit for that which is Universal, I could serve the highest good.  It was no longer about me.  Or about being right.

In the west, we have evolved into a largely compartmentalized tribe.  We sit in our metal boxes trying to get somewhere by a certain time so we can do a certain thing.  We use the metal box to defend our space.  We sit at our desk, and are unable to make eye contact with the outer world, and are unable to feel the subtle energy of others, and are unable to hear the intonation of a voice.  We suffer from disconnect.  And boy do we have comments.

We comment about who should or shouldn’t drive in the left lane.  We comment about patriotism, sexuality, politics, ad infinitum.  Always a comment.  But have we checked in?  Have we checked our motives?  What is our intention?  Is it on purpose?  Or are we just spreading the disease?

mahatma-gandhi-750x400I am not saying there are not battles to be fought or that our warriors are very active right now.  Many an enlightened soul has had to face immense struggle,
Gandhi comes to mind, as does the Bhagavad-Gita in which Arjuna still has to endure both the inner struggle and the outward struggle with that which he loves and has formed attachment to.  hqdefault

I am saying — what will serve all the one world — is for each of us to be responsible for having a practice devoted to finding, getting acquainted with, and more easily accessing our own soul.  In this way, we all serve the one world.

Until next time ~ peace


Finding Balance and Truth in a World gone “Viral”

building-better-worlds-930x350I consider myself an independent individual. I’m not a registered republican or democrat. I sometimes lean liberal, other times conservative. I’ve been on both sides of the libertarian / socialist debate. Mostly, I align with those who take a global view, are humanistic and compassionate and strong on the issue of global ecology. I favor a thriving middle class, and prefer people following their heart and soul; their bliss, over any of the preferred mythologies of our times.  In fact, I’ve dedicated this year to being clear about stating what is I DO WANT, instead of complaining.  I can not say I have been successful, because honestly there are so many things being done I do not think are good for our planet, and they are being done in such a unilateral way — the soil is ripe for complaining.  I have fallen prey to what feels like a virus, a sickness, which turns us all into zombies of a bickering nature.  Everybody is right and nobody is sorry, as the song goes.

Occasionally I get an email that gets my attention, sort of slaps me in the face and makes me say ‘Wow, these people are hurting. They’ve been traumatized. They are afraid. At some level they’re ashamed, in a toxic way, and are lashing out.’ I feel for them, and at the same time, I see great error in their conclusion and decisions.

Here’s the email below and after if you read on, you’ll find what I think is an appropriate and factual response. I wonder though, will we ever progress toward unity? I sometimes have my doubts about the human species and it’s destructive tendencies:

“The 89th showing of the Academy Awards are coming up on February 26th.  It is important that we, the deplorables, show the likes of Meryl Streep, Jennifer Lawrence, Alec Baldwin, Cher, Ashley Judd, Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar, and the other arrogant hypocrites, that we, the backbone and decent people of America
, are more united than the bitter, unhappy, angry, divisive people of the entertainment industry.

These arrogant, pompous, pampered soulless individuals declare that half of Americans are racist, sexist, and bigoted for voicing our political choice through Donald Trump. Yet there can be no doubt that the entertainment industry does more to exploit, degrade, minimize, and stereotype women than Donald Trump or any other industry ever has.  From Madonna and Miley Cyrus parading on stage with little to no clothing while grabbing their crotches and allowing fans to do the same, to movies that depict women as whores, sluts, and gold-diggers dependent on their bodies for survival, to the deplorable speeches of Madonna and Ashley Judd talking about their periods in a vile manner and talking about blowing up the White House, we must send these evil hearted people a strong and distinct message that they do not speak for the women of this country and they are not the role models of our young daughters. The wearing of pink does not negate the black hearts that these people have for our country and our Constitution.  Nor does it negate the disdain and contempt they have for the American people and our political process.

In recent social media threads, the good people of this nationla-1459189029-snap-photo are calling for a full boycott of the entertainment industry for this unwarranted and outrageous display of petulant behavior. Some in the entertainment industry are mocking us saying, “Go ahead, we don’t need you trailer trash racists.”  That may be true, but these people do need our green dollars.  It is important that we send a strong and powerful message to this group telling them to stick to their make believe jobs and to leave the politics of this country to the people, just as our wise and forward thinking forefathers designed.

The good people of this country are not asking you to give up movies.  We are asking you to take two simple steps.  First, refuse to support these groups by refusing to watch the Academy Awards on February 26th.  Simply change the channel or go for a walk with your family members and tell them how much you love them.  Second, forward this request to as many friends as possible and post it on social media to get the word out.  This will only be effective if we show the same unity we exhibited during the election.  Yet how powerful will it be when the ratings for the Academy Awards fall in the toilet.  It is only for a couple of hours and requires very little effort.  When this happens, the arrogant entertainment industry will understand just how insignificant and powerless they are.

I am so proud of my fellow Americans who stood up and said, “Enough is Enough.” Michelle may have only been proud of this country once in her life, but we the patriots have never lost our love and pride in America.  The left is now up to their old tricks trying to bully the rest of us into feeling guilty.  Let them know that their selfish, vulgar, and unpatriotic behavior over this past week will not be tolerated.  Let them know that we will not be silenced and that we are no longer going to be shamed for what we believe.  We must continue the fight!  We must shut them down now!  We must show them that America will be great again no matter how filthy and disgusting they become.

Boycott the Academy Awards on February 26, 2017.



lat-clooney-42-la0004064916-20090101George Clooney the actor and human rights campaigner criticised Trump and his supporters for taking aim at Meryl Streep after she gave a speech condemning the president earlier this year.

Trump accused her of being part of the “Hollywood elite,” but Clooney said, Trump himself is part of that “elite.”

“Trump has 22 acting credits and earns $120,000 a year from the Screen Actor’s Guild’s (SAG) pension fund. He is a Hollywood elite and Steve Bannonsteve-bannon is a failed film writer and director,” Clooney told interviewer Laurent Weil.

“That’s the truth, that’s what he’s done. He [Bannon] wrote a Shakespearean rap musical about the LA riots that he couldn’t get made. He made a lot of money off of Seinfeld. He’s elitist Hollywood, I mean, that’s the reality.”

Trump has appeared in various movies, most notably “Home Alone 2,” and is most known for playing himself on the TV show “The Apprentice.” Those various appearances make him eligible to receive a pension from the SAG. Bannon invested in the show “Seinfeld,” and is still getting payments due to syndication of the show.

Clooney was also asked whether he could draw any parallels between his movie “Good Night and Good Luck,” in which he plays a journalist during the McCarthy era, and what is happening in the US now. “We have a demagogue in the White House,” Clooney said, adding that journalists were needed to check his power.

But Clooney was also hopeful, saying that one thing he was proud of as an American was that even if “we do some pretty dumb things … we are pretty good at fixing them too.


As we look at these 2 items side by side, we get to weigh in.  Do we want to be a part of the fight?  He said, she said, I am right you are wrong, we are good you are bad… or can we find a place that says ‘I hear you, and I understand you are frightened.’  Or what if we took it a quantum leap further and said ‘what if there actually is some sort of virus or infection… something that is effecting everyone’s thinking in a way that leads to exactly this division?’  I know that’s a radical idea, but hear me out.  The first step in this is saying ‘okay, I have become ill.  I have become ill in a way that affects the way I think and react.’  This is a most difficult tenet because if I can not trust our own my own thinking due to this virus, then instead I must focus on healing.

And that’s really what this entire situation is about.  Humankind is being given an opportunity to heal.  To heal it’s thinking, it’s speaking, it’s actions.   To define it’s own existence as either veering off of it’s path of rapid expansion and destruction, or of choosing a whole new way.  A way that says ‘Our past has lead to expansion and destruction, division and growth, irresponsible and reckless, with little respect for others, for the planet, and out of harmony with life – that is the myth we must abandon.’

There are those of us who believe that given the chance to turn inward, we discover the Universe.  We discover that inside us shines 1000 suns, and that there is a wise soul who understands.  We carry inherently the capacity to forgive, to empathize, and ultimately to love.  My recommendation is we all develop a method to establish a well worn path from the logical mind which says we are separate, to the heart, which recognizes we are all connected and part of one amazing, powerful, symbiotic God.

So, count your rosary, say your our Fathers, recite the Shemah, chant, sing, ho’oponopono… re-establish your inner life first.  Heal the spiritual sickness.



When the Messenger Arrives, Listen.


As I drove out of my driveway this morning I was treated to the sight of hundreds of blackbirds in my neighbors yard.  As I approached, they took flight and immediately began to murmurate, I, once again, couldn’t help but take notice and interpret on a spiritual level.  There are those of us who can connect to spirit in a timely and meaningful way when we experience a resonant moment with animal guides.  For those of you not open to or who do not connect with this mythology, you may stop reading now.

Intuitively, I picked up on a) that there was a message from ascended guides and masters contained within, and b) this was a time where I should ‘look up the meaning’ and my answer would quickly be revealed.  And so I pulled over and did that.  Here is what came up immediately:

Blackbirds Animal Totem Symbolism:  As a dark and mysterious creature, blackbirds are associated with lunar symbolism.   Also, the flight of the blackbird is symbolic of the quest for higher knowledge, a valiant journey that always leaves us better off than when we started. 

The reminder here for me is that a) I am a seeker of higher knowledge and b) Higher knowledge leaves us better than before.  Over the past few months I have been experiencing a very strong net negative inner condition by using Facebook.  There has been so much discord and division, largely brought about by the recent US election process, along with the boiling over of so much fear and anger from the millions of people who’ve been feeling disenfranchised.   The daily reading and interactions do not leave me ‘better than I was before’ and now I know, therefore this is not the pathway of higher knowledge.

As I sat with this information came the awareness that I used to blog as a way of refining and expressing my clarity with regard to almost anything, but that I had stopped doing this, because I too had gotten caught up in the Facebook fray.

Upon reflection I am once again aware that this venue is the perfect place for me to organize and express my views on many subjects such as politics, the Earth and ecology, energy production, birth control, race and gender equality, human sexuality, regressive politics, love, yoga, fitness, adventure, and my soul’s purpose.  Here it’s is just my ideas, away from the place where everybody is right and nobody is sorry.  Facebook has become the equivalent of a car.  Everyone ‘hides behind the wheel’ and are able to ‘rage’ without consequences.

Groups have evolved on Facebook which significantly cut down on the social media road rage, and I do participate in those.  I am grateful I have connected with many truly open minded and loving souls in these groups.  Those of us concerned with healing the global disease can connect, share ideas, and grow seeds of change.  In those I participate with my inner most thoughts, and I am met with sharing, compassion and feel grace enter.

If you are reading this, thank you for allowing me to freely express myself.